Why I’m So Tired

Being a mom is tiring. Everyone warns you, but no one can really prepare for it. Waking up in the middle of the night, multiple times, and then going at it all day – it’s tiring! But so worth it. But my fatigue didn’t start here.

I served an LDS mission in Norway. Being a missionary is tiring. Everyone warns you, but no one can really prepare for it. Waking up at 6:30 every morning, working all day, and doing it all over again – it’s tiring! But so worth it.

While I was in Norway, I was told that I was still anemic (which I wasn’t surprised about) and that I had traces of Mono. (Honestly no idea where that came from!) So I ate leverpostei (liver pate), took Iron supplements, and did all I could to gain energy. I fought through it. A few months later I was sent up north to Tromso Norway. I was SO excited! I wanted to serve there so badly, and I was so blessed! A month or so in to serving there, my hand and foot started tingling. I felt exhausted. Throughout my mission I would have to sit down at every bus stop due to fatigue. I blamed it on anemia. But at this point in my mission, stress came over me as I was terrified that I might possibly be diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis – that my mom had had when I was younger. (That is a whole other story about a true miracle).

Anyways, my mission president told me to rest. His wife, Sister Evans, sent me medication and other things to do so that I could get better. I stayed in bed for probably a week. I was scared and exhausted. I went to doctors and they told me that I was 100% healthy. I didn’t believe it, but I assumed that if they didn’t find anything big then there wasn’t too much need to worry. My companion and I decided to go on a diet from sugars and carbs. This turned out to me a tender mercy for the both of us. I got back on my feet and finished my mission exhausted (like everyone else…but to a different degree) and happy.

Fast-forward 3 years. About 3 weeks ago I went to the doctor. I felt some anxiety and thought that maybe I was anemic again (I wasn’t when I was pregnant!) or that something else was wrong with me. They found that I had a Vitamin D deficiency but nothing else. So I decided to go to another doctor (instead of just a PA from the college I attend).

The next week I met with the doctor and got my blood tested. I heard back from them about 5 days later. They said that I tested positive for Epstein Bar Virus which in turn meant that I most likely (with the other symptoms that I have) was being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I wasn’t surprised because I had the feeling the past few weeks that this was a possibility. However, any news like this isn’t amazing.

Talking with my mom, I was trying to figure out when I had the first “outbreak” of the Epstein Bar Virus. This links it all right back to that week on my mission that I stayed at home and rested. 3 years of Chronic Fatigue without knowing it.

So although motherhood is tiring and being a missionary is tiring, having Chronic Fatigue on top of it is also tiring. Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to have a pity party. Trust me, I don’t want that. I’m just sharing my story. It is possible to fulfill your dreams when you have a physical ailment. I am not using this as an excuse. It is just written into my story. I am not going to let it define me, I am just going to defeat it through fulfilling my dream every day. Being a mom and wife has been my dream for forever! And although I have Chronic Fatigue, I am going to LIVE my life the way I have always wanted it to be.

 

xoxo,

Sierra (a.k.a. mrs. robinson)